Mental Floss: Whine Enthusiast

When was the defining moment when I considered myself a world-class whine enthusiast? There have been obvious moments in my life where I've raised the bar and my voice to a nasally annoying tone never-before heard in order to get what I wanted.

Like the time when my wife wouldn't put out. Well, it was our wedding night and I'd lubed up my anus and everything!

Like the time when I only got a promotion 3 levels above my level of competency. Hey, I'd been licking that guy's taint for a year and I only got a Benz as a Christmas bonus!

Like the time in college when I had to abuse the TA for docking me a point for plagiarism. The nerve of that guy! Killing that hobo and framing the TA for his death was maybe a little over the top, but nobody will miss either of them.

With a annoying tone and attuned complaint, I have recognized my own sphincteresque annoyingness and used it for personal gain. I licked my share of taint before learning how to be the tainted and not the taintee. Now it's my time!